Day 2 continued...

I just got back from the doctor. I gained 4 pounds- what's that all about? Dr. Go said that it is common for you to gain anywhere from 2-7 pounds after chemo due to fluid retention. He said I didn't need a diuretic and that it would go away in a few days- great! I also got the Neulasta injection...phew...I think that hurt more than my spinal when having my children! She offered it to me in the back of my arm or in the stomach. I chose the arm today, but next time will be the stomach! She said there is less nerves in the stomach. Anyways, I also talked with Dr. Go about my Oncotype test- the results came in. My score was a "46". This takes into account treatment vs recurrence rate. Basically, the higher the score, the more benefit from chemo. So, he was on the right path- that means I will benefit more in taking the chemo and radiation and Tamoxifen. Based on this test, I have about a 37% recurrence rate of cancer within the next 5 years. Now like I said in an earlier post, I don't have to be a statistic! I will fight this and I have the Big Man upstairs in my corner! :) Anyways- I'm off to go take a nap- I'm feeling a little tired, but otherwise, pretty good. Oh, and all of the side effects I mentioned earlier this morning are completely normal- like I thought! Thanks for the continued prayers! Love to all!

Day 2...

I would have slept great last night, but I kept waking up thinking about when to take which pills! I'm not much of a medicine person, and I think I want to make sure I take everything when I'm supposed to! So, when I got up this morning I went downstairs- and noticed my legs were a little shaky. I had to have something on my stomach- so I ate a delicious piece of banana bread that someone from my school had baked! (I didn't have that nasty "dirty penny" taste this morning so I actually enjoyed it!) Then I laid all the meds out on the counter, and took 1 steroid pill, 1 anti-nausea pill, 1 Claritin, and 1 IB Profrin. The last 2 pills are to help with the side effects from the Neulasta shot I'm getting this morning at 11:00. I have to take another steroid tonight too- to make sure I don't have allergic reactions. The site on my arm where I had the IV yesterday is bruised and a little swollen today. My cheeks are very pink this morning, and I also feel a little pressure on my heart. I'll talk to the nurse about these side effects this morning. (I think it's all normal though.)

On another note, I did go see Graham in his performance at PTA last night. They were adorable, although Greg and I had Mallory Kate to contend with! I guess the terrible 2's are approaching us quickly! I took a few shots, not the best ones, but he is the second boy in blue from the left.

Graham looking intently for his parents!

One down, five to go...

Well, I made it- round 1 checked off the calendar! We arrived at 9am and left a little after 2pm. It really wasn't that bad. I decided to get a "private room" rather than to sit in the open infusion room. I had a TV and my mother-in-law's laptop w/ Internet connection! Yeah! That passed the time for sure. (I even looked on e-bay for some cute scarves or "do rags" as they call them!) The nurse did about 30 minutes of teaching me the ins and outs on the 3 chemo drugs- and all the side effects! Wow! There was a tons of possible side effects- of course, since these drugs are poisonous! My nurse, Cassie- who I adore, started me off with some heavy anti-nausea meds called Emend, followed by Benedryl (in case of an allergic reaction). She then had to push the bright red Adrimyican through the IV, and watch that it didn't leak from the vein causing serious damage. You know I had to laugh when she walked in to give me this one. Cassie had on full body armor and gloves to protect herself! It was quite a sight I must say- and to know something that dangerous is going into my body. Well, I hope it does a great job of killing those bad cancer cells! Then she gave me the Taxotere- which she watched for a little bit for allergic reactions, and the last one was the Cytoxin. During all of these meds, they kept saline going in as well. This will be the same plan for each of my chemo visits. Greg was there with me today and that helped. Right now I still feel pretty good- although I have a terrible "dirty penny" taste in my mouth- and no I've never tasted one, but that's what I imagine it would taste like! I go back in the morning for the Neulasta injection- which can be painful the days following. Thanks so much for the prayers! I wasn't the bit nervous today- I had Perfect Peace! I pray this continues through it all! And with the support of family and friends like you, I'm sure it will! Oh, and I picked up my wig today and got Greg's approval! :) Graham has a PTA performance tonight that I hope I feel well enough to go! I'm going to take a quick nap so I can be there!

Here are some pics I took when we were out in the yard playing at the end of last week. As you can see, Graham loves to climb trees! (And he scares the heck out of me doing it!) But boys will be boys! And for Mallory Kate, well...she's ALL girl! We also took Graham and his buddy to Fall for Greenville- they had a blast! Enjoy!

Grahm loves to climb!

Mallory Kate loves her babies!

Graham and Conner at Fall for Greenville

Ready, Set, CHEMO...

Here we go...Chemo starts on Monday! I met with Dr. Go yesterday (which I absolutely LOVE)! If anyone ever needs an oncologist, I highly recommend him. When I told him that I am going to make one ugly bald lady, he told me I could never be ugly, even with a bald head! Boy, he knows how to win the ladies over, doesn't he? Haha!) He is incredibly knowledgeable, and puts things in terms that I can actually understand- and he seems to genuinely care for me, too! So yesterday's appointment was basically a question/ answer appointment and I had some labs drawn, too. He went over my PET scan- which was good- and I actually got to see the computer images of it. It was so cool! It was in 3D and he could manipulate my body around- just like on TV shows I've seen before. I could see all the "hot spots"- which were my brain- that means it's working properly (of course!) and around the surgery site, which was normal he said. He also said my echo was great- no problems there. Dr. Go went over the plan for the road ahead- 6 cycles of chemo, one every 3 weeks; then radiation for 37 straight days (minus weekends); and then Tamoxifen for 5+ years (a pill). The chemo medicines I am taking are known as "TAC"(forgive me for the spelling here)- Taxotere, Adriamyican, and Cytoxin. He went over the side effects- not so fun! Of course they include nausea/ vomiting, allergic reactions, low blood pressure, tingles in hands and feet, fluid retention, irritable bladder, burns to the skin (if the Adriamyican leaks from the vein- Great!). He prescribed some heavy duty anti-nausea meds called Emend- which I might add is $106 per pill! Yikes! (Thank God for insurance- I just had to pay $25 for 2 pills.) He also prescribed other nausea meds like Phenagren and some others I haven't heard of. He said I can basically get whatever I want as far as meds go- but I hate taking medicine! We'll see how my body adjusts to all of this and I might decide I need to stock my medicine cabinet up with all kinds of goodies! He also is putting me on a steroid the day before chemo and the day after to prevent allergic reactions. The day after chemo, I go back into the office to get an injection of Neulasta- this injection helps your body produce more white blood cells by expanding your bone marrow. I'm not looking forward to this b/c from what I've read and heard, this makes your bones feel extremely achy, like the flu, but worse! So what to expect? Well, on Monday I start at 9:00. The nurse will do some teaching for about 30 min then I'm off to the infusion room. (It's kinda scary, honestly. It's a huge room with lots of recliners and people are just sitting there with IV's getting their treatments. When I went, I didn't see anyone under the age of 70- no offense, but I am in the minority big time! But hopefully, I'll have a companion keep me company on my treatment days.) They told me to expect to be there anywhere from 4-6 hours! (PS- there is no wi-fi connection! Bummer, they need to get that installed b/c I need to find something to pass the time! There's only so much time I can look out of a window and admire the garden and birds.) Then on Tuesday, I'll go back for the Neulasta injection. Dr. Go said the worst feeling days would be days 3-7. Then I'll slowly feel better as each day passes. I'll go back 1 week after chemo to check my blood count. They say days 7-10, your blood count levels drop extremely low. This is where we have to be careful about germs. So, if you want to visit me, great- I'd love you to, but no offense- don't come if you're sick! Dr. Go said make hand washing a must around the house at all times. That's what is ahead of us right now. Down the road after chemo and radiation, we will discuss mastectomy and hysterectomy options, if needed based on the genetic testing- which is in November. That's about it! I am ready to get going and get this over. What's really bothering me now is the fact that loosing my hair is inevitable with the chemo I'm on! Dr. Go said it happens about 12-17 days after the first round of chemo! YIKES! This scares me and I don't have enough guts to go ahead and shave my head! I scheduled an appointment with my wonderful hairdresser to give me a short-do next Thursday. I don't want to go short, but I figured it would be easier on me emotionally to find clumps of short hair on my pillow than long clumps of hair! So, Greg, get the vacuum ready! I'm going today to order my wig and see if I can find some decent scarves. If anyone has some cute, trendy scarves, I'd love to borrow them for a while! :) (I'm not much of a hat person though.) I'm also going to check on some support groups today. I think it would be nice to talk to others having gone through the same kinds of things as me. I know I say this a lot, but I really do thank each of you for your prayers and awesome support! You all mean so much to me and my family. We love you all! :) And a little reminder- I know that God is in control and I see this every day! I feel peace about all of this and I know He will take good care of me! God is good- ALL the time, regardless if this looks bad to us. He has the PERFECT PLAN!

Good news...

First of all, before I begin, let me apologize for the length of my posts! Greg says i write too much, but I had to explain to him that this is therapy for me and it's hard to get all of this into one little paragraph. (He's not much of a reader anyways, and if it's not in Sports Illustrated, he doesn't read it!) So...on to my good news...I needed this so much! Dr. Gococo's nurse called me yesterday to tell me that my PET Scan came back clear from other cancer! What an answer to prayer! They saw some activity around the surgery site, but that was expected due to the surgery- not that there is more cancer there. When the nurse called me, I was driving on the road, and I think I almost ran a red light because I was so excited and not paying attention to the road (ooops)! I'm sure that has never happened to you, right?
Anyways, Greenwood Genetics called me this morning to set up my genetics testing appointment for November 18th. I asked to be on the cancellation list to see if I could get in earlier if possible. The genetics testing is to see if I am a carrier of the BRCA1 & BRCA2 gene- the breast cancer gene. Forgive me if I already wrote this in an earlier post, but if I am a carrier, then I have a 70% chance of getting BC again and a 40% chance of getting ovarian cancer. So, knowing if I carry that gene, that will help me make decisions about having a double mastectomy and a hysterectomy. And not to mention, knowing this for Mallory Kate's future. Let's pray that I am not a carrier of those genes!
Also, I am waiting the results of another test that I haven't talked about. It's called the oncotype test. This test is run from my biopsy from surgery and will yield results of how effective chemotherapy is for my cancer. Dr. Go already said that he probably wouldn't change his course of recommended treatment based on these results, but it is still good information. You get a "score" from 1-100. They look at your tumor cells and assess the risk of recurrence you have and assign it a number. The higher the risk of recurrence, the greater the benefit from chemo. A score of 0-11 means little benefit from chemo; 12-30 means medium benefit from chemo; and above 30 means definite benefit from chemo. So, I'm really not sure if you "want" a high number or low number- I guess it is what it is! But Dr. Go said that since I had lymph node involvement, and that it's a stage III aggressive cancer, chemo followed by radiation, followed by Tamoxifen is the best plan of treatment for me. So, I meet with Dr. Go again on Thursday and we'll go from there. At this point, I still think (and hope) chemo will start on Monday, Oct. 13th. I decided I would rather get chemo treatments on a Monday, to give myself the week to recover- while the kids are at school/ daycare. Then hopefully, I'll be feeling better by the weekend and can spend time with my family!
I've had the question, "How are you really feeling?" Well, after surgery, I have to admit, I was very discouraged about the lymph node involvement, and then to find out last week it was moved to a "Stage IIIa" was a downer for me. I got on the Internet and read horrible things about survival rates with my stage. But I prayed and have been prayed for by tons of people! And I think that is why I feel so much better this week! I am not going to let BC take me down without a fight- and I will do whatever it takes for a victory! The road ahead is bumpy, and I need the prayer to roll me smoothly over it! I'm in God's hands and He has the perfect plan. (Although I'm not so sure God has pictured me bald, ...I don't think it's going to be a pretty sight! Haha)
Side note...Someone (who I don't even know) mailed me the most precious package with a handmade beanie hat and a "Faith" bag to take to all my appointments. I pulled all of my hair up in the beanie hat and turned to Greg. He laughed and said, "Don't do that yet!" So, I know I will look funny, but it is temporary...Thank God for that! Well, off to cleaning the house!

Much needed R&R...

Graham LOVES the beach! (But don't we all???)

Diva, diva, diva...

Rest and relaxation...yes! The beach is the place for that indeed! The last month has been a whirlwind and there's no better place, in my opinion, than to refresh at the beach. We had planned on coming down on Thursday, but that day seemed way too rushed with 3 doctor's appointments starting at 8:45. My first appointment was to see Dr. Rippon about the fluid under my arm and breast. I thought she was going to have to drain it- yuck, but she said it looked good and that my body would absorb the excess fluid in a few days- and that was normal. Yeah...one less needle stick! I went straight to St. Francis Hospital for my echo cardiogram after seeing Dr. Rippon. That appointment was fine- as far as I know (you know they can't really tell you anything about the results). They were just looking at my heart to make sure I can handle one of the meds in my chemo treatment. Then I headed across the street to my third and last appointment of the day. This was the PET scan and lasted FOREVER! I got there at 11:15 and left after 2:00! (I had to fast for this so by the time I left, I was starving!) I went by myself because no one is allowed back with me with the radiation. They started an IV and pushed a radioactive tracer through it. Then I had to drink about 32oz of this nasty drink- basically water with a bleach taste. I sat in that room for almost 1 1/2 hours or more- in the dark with nothing to do! No TV, music, NOTHING! They say that you need to be still so that your muscles aren't active. Thank God for texting- because I chatted with a teacher friend of mine for a few minutes until she had to get back to her class! After that, I had the scan, which wasn't bad at all, that took about 30 minutes. So, like I said earlier in a post, I have learned a lot through this road I'm traveling. So how does this test work? It's pretty cool...the drink and the IV med contain a high level of sugar. The cells in your body metabolize that- cancer cells will metabolize the sugar at a much higher rate than the good cells. So after the cancer cells metabolize the sugar, the radioactive tracer is left behind and will be viewed as a hot spot on the PET scan. So, hopefully they won't see any hot spots, but we'll find out on Monday or Tuesday. Phew...what a day. Needless to say, I was exhausted and could not bear the thought of traveling with 2 kids (and my husband- which is really like a 3rd kid) to the beach in the car for 4 hours. That's why we left Friday morning instead! When I get home tomorrow, I'll post some pics from the beach. We're having a blast and the weather is PERFECT! We played on the beach all afternoon and will head out there again after lunch today. :)

Mema, Papa, and Mallory Kate walking at Broadway at the Beach.

How precious is this?

Update...

Okay...so let me think where I need to continue from the last post. Oh, yes...the drain is out! Yeah! I went to the surgeon on Tuesday to get that uncomfortable, nasty thing out. Dr. Rippon went over what all was found during surgery- most of which I already knew from her report to Greg. When I first saw Dr. Rippon after my mammogram and ultrasound, she staged me as Stage I based on the tumor size (figured from the ultrasound). Unfortunately, after the path report from surgery, I am now a Stage IIIa. (I was very disappointed to hear that, but I have to keep in mind that being a Stage III will just mean more aggressive treatment- which is what I want to be cancer-free!) My tumor actually measured 2.1 cm and I had 5 of the 9 lymph nodes test positive for cancer. Something new I learned yesterday, since she had to do the lymph node dissection and remove 9 of my nodes, they will not be growing back. Big deal, huh? Not really...Little did I know that for the rest of my life, I can not get shots, blood drawn, IV's, or other needle sticks, blood pressure taken, or for that matter- anything that would cause fluid retention. Since the nodes are gone, my body can't correctly take the fluid out of those areas on or around my arm. (Even to fly, I must wear a compression sleeve!) So those of you that know me well know that if there's a chance something can happen, it will happen to me. That's just my luck! With that being said, I was told yesterday to watch out for extra fluid pooling up around my incision sites and around my arm. If you have a weak stomach, you may want to skip this next little tid-bit and check out the pics below. Read on if you dare...(haha) I was walking up the stairs last night and I heard a sound like a bunch of water on an empty stomach- the sound of fluid sloshing around. But, it was not coming from my stomach; it was coming from under my arm and around my breast- yuck! So, I tried to call the doctor, but there was no answering service for some reason! (My luck!) So first thing this morning, I called the nurse and she saw me- Yes, I have some fluid retention in that area. She said there is no infection- thank God- and she said my body would eventually absorb it. But, since she knew it was bothersome to me, I am going in the morning to see Dr. Rippon, again, and she will needle aspirate the area...gross! And after that, I will go for the eckocardiogram and right after that, I get the PET scan. I will not know results from the PET until Monday or Tuesday- this will show if there are other "hot spots" in my body. Let's keep those prayers going for no other areas to show up! But I have great news...after those 3 appointments tomorrow, my family is going to the beach for a much-needed long weekend! Yeah! And for laughs, check out the pics from the wig trip. If there's any fun in loosing your hair, it has to be the trip to the wig store! The lady was very helpful and we made light of the situation. :)

Tamara, Tracy, me, and Liz

A striking blonde?

Liz had to have some fun, too!