Like it or not...

So I did it...cut off about 9 inches. I have to say, I did shed a few tears. I sat down in the chair, and my hairdresser asked if I had a style in mind. That's when I bust into tears and told her it really didn't matter what she did because I wouldn't have the "new do" but for a few days. I can't believe I cried over this, especially in front of this sweet little old lady also getting her hair done. The little lady even tried to make me feel better by showing me the "lack of hair" on top of her head. You know, your hair makes you who you are, and it is hard to come to terms of not having any. I feel like I am losing a part of me- my femininity. I have never had really short hair, and ironically, I had been growing my hair out for some time now. So, the longest part of my hair now is 3 inches on top. And it is super short- and in my opinion, very boyish looking. I hate it...matter of fact, I called Greg on the way home from getting it cut and told him I wanted him to shave it off for me. And from what the doctor told me, I will be losing it probably at the beginning of the week. Now, for the not so fun part of all of this...when people lose their hair from chemo it doesn't just gradually thin out. It comes out in clumps and patches! So, Greg will have the "honor" of shaving my head when this happens. All of this is really hard for me- the whole losing your hair thing. So I have tried to think about the positive things about not having hair: less time getting ready, not having to blow dry my hair, saving money on shampoo and conditioner (which Greg always complains about), not having anymore "bad hair days", and getting to wear funky, cute scarves that I've never worn before! See...that makes me feel better already! PS- if anyone knows where to find some funky, cute scarves, please let me know! Here is a picture (after all the tears) of my hairdresser and me...I warned you, not very cute! (And yes, she has purple in her hair!) :)

Hawthorne Inn Breast Cancer Walk...

Mom, me, and Granny- 3 Generations

My very dear Granny lives at an Assisted Living here in Greenville- The Hawthorne Inn. Today The Hawthorne Inn held a Breast Cancer Walk in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month. They honored 2 breast cancer survivors, one being a resident and the other is the director of the center. They also showed their support to me battling breast cancer now. Everyone was armed in pink and the breast cancer ribbons- even their dog, Pippy! We all met in front of the building at 1:30 and walked in the beautiful weather around their facility, carrying balloons. When we reached the front of the building, we released the balloons and cheered in support of all who have been and will be effected by this terrible disease! We went inside and enjoyed a cookie cake and pink punch! Thanks for the support Granny and the employees and residents of the Hawthorne Inn! :) PS...Take one last look at my long hair in the pictures...it's getting cut off in the morning!

Employees of The Hawthorne Inn

"I feel good, da-na-na-na-na-na..."

Can you hear me signing..."I feel good!" Yes- back to myself again! I had such a wonderful day today. I kinda forgot how it feels to feel "normal". I have a new appreciation for what I always took for granted- feeling well. I will forever thank God in my daily prayers for feeling well each day- what a blessing that really is! I saw Dr. Go this morning and they drew some labs. He said my white blood counts were good- which is really why I went today. He wanted to make sure they didn't drop too low because my body wouldn't be able to fight off any kind of infection. I will not go back until November 3rd, round #2- yeah! I had a wonderful weekend with my friend, Kristen, from Texas! She was such a blessing to have around and she helped out so much. I miss her already! I will post some pics from our visit together later when she e-mails them to me. :)

Days 6 & 7...

I woke up Saturday morning feeling so much better than the previous 2 days. But let me tell you, the energy I did have quickly faded after a trip out to lunch. My friend, Kristen, is visiting from Dallas and we have had so much fun together catching up- and her help has been tremendous! (Seriously, I can't thank her enough!) I thought we would all go downtown to eat and do some walking around, since our downtown has really grown! But...my body did not agree on that plan. We ate at Brick Street Cafe- which was great- and by the time I walked back to the car, I was exhausted. So, we came home and she went to visit some other friends and I rested a while. We then went to dinner at another friend's house and had such a great time! Until...(you know things always have a way of happening at the wrong time for me) Mallory Kate woke up crying at about 11:00pm. I went in to check on her and she had thrown up in her crib! Ugh!!! Kristen and Greg were such a help in getting her cleaned up and sheets and all changed. She was pretty puny all last night, and woke up this morning still tired. As the day has gone on, she's feeling much better and almost back to her little perky self. I have Lysoled the house down- hoping that no one else will catch this. I feel very tired today- not sleepy tired, but non-energetic tired (if that makes sense!) I hope I'll feel even better by tomorrow. I think I can almost safely say, "Ive made it through round 1!" Yeah- it honestly wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I was really thinking I would feel nauseated and sick, but thanks to the expensive meds and prayers- I didn't! I will post some pics of our visit this weekend later. Thanks again for all the prayer (and continue on...God answers them!) :)

Day 5...

Today I actually made it downstairs before 8:00! I was able to help get Mallory Kate dressed- although I did forgo the "dirty diaper" and lovingly asked Greg to change it! (You know, I have the Breast Cancer card in my back pocket and can use it at will! Haha- I'm only kidding!) So how am I feeling today? Well...I do say a little better than yesterday- but I have TERRIBLE jaw pain! I called the nurse about it already, and she said to take some Alieve or Ibuprofen- which I already did. She said that some people feel joint pain in their hips or lower back, but I guess mine ended up in my jaw. As far as energy goes, I do feel a little better in that department. I had to cancel my "short-do" haircut for yesterday, and had it rescheduled for next Thursday. (Hopefully I'll still have some hair for her to cut by then!) I really need to pick up the house today- I am having a friend from Dallas fly in tonight and stay until Tuesday! I am thrilled about her coming- although my house is not all in order at this time! It's unreal what a 6 year old and almost 2 year old can do to a "semi-clean" house in under 5 minutes! If only they could pick it up that quick as well! I am going to try to do a little cleaning this morning- we'll see how far I get with that. Greg told me today that I was not to shower until he gets home for lunch- due to what happened yesterday. I truly thank you all for the meals you have done for my family, all the cards, and prayers! (I am a little behind on the thank you notes, and will catch up soon- I promise!) Love to all!

Day 4...

This is the first time I made it downstairs today- at 11:30. I tried to take a shower this morning, but ended up almost "blacking out"- you know when you start to see stars and all fades? So, I sat in the shower until I could get back up. Boy...chemo is rough stuff! I guess this is a sign that the "poisons" are doing their job! I pretty much have laid in the bed all morning- doing nothing. Although I did talk to a fellow BC patient on the phone who gave me lots of encouragement today! (On a day that I needed it most! :) I think things will get better- hopefully soon! I do not feel nauseated- just kinda achy and very weak. All I feel like eating is a starchy baked potato! Weird, huh? I'm going to call Greg at work and ask him to bring me one for lunch- I love you, honey! Thanks for the prayers!

Day 3...

Well, the Dr. said days 3-7 would be the toughest, and I believe that he is right. I had a horrible time sleeping last night- I laid awake for over 3 hours, due to the steroid I think. Last night's dose was the last of that, thank goodness! I will try to help myself tonight by taking a prescription the Dr. gave me to help with sleep. It was hard to get out of bed this morning, I tried to help get the kids ready for the day, but I don't think I was too much help- sorry Greg! I felt this pressure on my chest- which I called the nurse about- and she said it is probably heartburn from some of the chemo drugs. I took some of Greg's Zantac, and it may of helped a little, but not so much. I managed to get in the shower when Greg came home for lunch- and that did make me feel a little better, too. I have been mainly reading today- I'm not so into the TV at this point. I do have to say that I am pretty impressed with the anti-nausea drugs though. I really don't feel that queasy- although I really don't have much of an appetite either yet. I'm sure this will all pass- hopefully sooner than later! Thanks for the prayers!